The Sexuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, making love brings tremendous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the chance visit the site to have sex with somebody we are attracted to very difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us additional info feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are involuntary and strong , causing powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, love, closeness, and wellness .

However when problems develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, states that a lot of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in cities, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. Numerous gay men desire to discover out from the starting if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Visit This Link North includes, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with common sense. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sexuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar