The Intimacy Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, making love carries immense meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great too).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), visit the site makings the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are attracted to extremely hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner. More about the author

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, love, well-being, and nearness .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got site issues, but the sex is excellent!" They probably would not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that much of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in cosmopolitan locations, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sex. Lots of gay men wish to discover from the starting if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is important. Chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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